I either have to decide, are you gonna be paranoid and crazy, or are you gonna take this pill that puts your lungs to sleep when you go to bed at night. so I say I’ll take the pill because it’s quality of life of over quantity My family was my support group and my wife was really supportive for a long time and yeah and before that my mom and dad were when I, when I first really had a nervous breakdown, a serious nervous breakdown but I’ve had mood swings and depression and really euphoric mania when I was young. When I was 21 I had a nervous breakdown, and they and I just all I did for six months was eat sleep and cry. Finally my mom said there’s something wrong and she had a psychiatrist come into our home and evaluate me for a while and then he said he needs to go to hospital immediately. And so one weekend my dad said one Friday my dad said we’re going to go down to the city for a week for the weekend you want to go? I said well I’m not staying here alone so they took me down there and we drove up to the hospital and I said what we’re doing here? He said oh they’re going to run some tests on you. A month and a half later I came out. I remember the point where I just said I cannot live like this. I can’t live here laying in bed and so I just one day I just threw myself out of bed and I just said ‘put your clothes on, go find your friend and we’re gonna play a guitar and it’s gonna be okay’ and it still wasn’t okay, I still had all this side effects from the medication and I still had the symptoms but but over the last probably, ever since I got divorced six years ago I just decided no more. I just got, I got to live my life I got to be you know try to, try to find some kind of meaning in it what I’m doing. Mental Illness is devastating to families to individuals especially. People don’t understand how hard it is I mean I think the thought that I can go out of my mind and just, and see people can’t comprehend that unless they’ve been to that point and it’s such a scary thing that you just don’t ever talk about it you just try to push towards coping with what’s going on right here right now.