I think its high time I wrote this piece
down because tomorrow I cannot guarantee I’ll be alive
you see most times i lie when I say I am fine
the truth is deep down there is a war going on in my mind sometimes it makes
me happy most times it makes me sad and other times the emotion is difficult to
describe but one thing I crave above all is for this pain to subside sometimes
I feel numb and lifeless so I cut my skin to reassure myself I still bleed I
wear my cloth of disguise and this guy has a facade from the ground to the skies but
underneath are tattoos on his bodies that are screaming for help. Yes I tried to
speak out. Communicated to mom and dad but son you cannot have a white man’s
disease in Nigeria especially when it’s not communicable so take your communion and
let’s go to church today is deliverance and your problems will be solved. At church
the ulsher refuses me to enter, she says I am wearing shades and a snapback but one
thing she doesn’t understand is these shades are covering my tears and eye bags
the cap is covering half my hair I shaved last night. I thought this was a place
that accepted all with love and not give stigma or are we interpreting
God’s word the other way around. The the pastor goes on to preach what I don’t
really understand. all I know is I didn’t hear Christ I heard finance. I need peace
and you are pissing me off. I need Christ and you are adding to this crisis.
deliverance was after and after deliverance I felt worse I guess the
demons left everyone and entered into one. shut up!!!
these thoughts are multiple personalities and they tell me what to
do so I get high trying to shut them out but one thing about it is it is a quick fix.
the problems are still there so I increase the solution looking for a
solution but these dosage leads to more complication. Friends claim they are
busy and think I’m looking for attention but they dont understand I’m actually at
tension I chat my eX to know whY I am a Zilch but she replies like I sent a B C
this is getting out of hands I am in prison as this shackles in my head wont
let me be free. This disease is not giving me ease. It’s like I don’t exist.
I heard death takes you to a better place so i’ll rather use the exit