Hey, it’s Leah of Spoon Shares. I started a vlog series about feeding tubes about 2 years ago, and did about 4 videos over 6 months before I stopped because…I didn’t have the energy and I kept putting it off. So now it’s two years later, and I’ve somehow still gotten some really nice comments and subscribers, despite the fact that I haven’t posted in two years, so I’m going to make an effort to start these videos again I no longer have a feeding tube, though. I had to switch to TPN You can see my central line right here Which is a form of tube feeding, but it’s IV nutrition through this central line. But I will still talk about my expereince with the jejunal feeding tube, as well as what it’s been like going on and staying on TPN. And I’ll talk about other chronic illness related stuff, either stuff I’ve learned living as a professional patient that I think may benefit someone to hear, or stuff to help you explain a difficult concept to friends or family members. I’m not going to try and do one a week like I tried last time, because I know better now. I’m just gonna put them up when I do them, when I can, how I can. But I will do what I can. nd that I think brings me to the topic of this video, which seems a good place to re-boot this vlog series: Productivity. (Aerosmith singing) Sick as a dog, what’s your story? Productivity with chronic illness is hard.
It’s really hard. No matter what level of functionality you have, you know it’s not as high as it would be if you weren’t sick. And that’s really frustrating. And because our society is so productivity based (think of how often we hear the phrase “productive member of society”) it can feel like you’re a useless drain on the resources of those around you. So in order to cope with that feeling of doing less than you would like to do, whether it’s because you need more days off or because you can only work part time, or because, like me, you can’t work at all, you have to throw out that “productive member of society” narrative from your world completely. Just chuck it out the moon door along with Lysa Arran. Instead, think about the people you value in your life. Your friends, your family, your significant other, your furry pets. Do you value them because of what they do and what they create, or because of who they are, and who they are to you? Creating stuff is awesome, don’t get me wrong. And I’m never going to be over the fact that I can’t do much. That’s never not going to hurt. And I accept that. There are ways to cope with that.I’m a big knitter. I love to knit. And part of the reason I love to knit, among other things, is that I can see myself adding something tangibly to the world. But the things I add, the things that I do, they don’t define me as a person. And they don’t define your worth as a person. So go easy on yourself, and remind yourself that you’re living in a body that makes even the most simple tasks feel Herculean. And when you’re beating yourself up for not being able to do something because of symptoms I’m going to give you a sentence that has become a mantra of mine that a friend said to me when I had a migraine flare while trying to get ready for a friend’s wedding.